Shared Time

CharlienLauraSomething that I have feared is that Laura would take time away from Charlie. That I would spend more time trying to help her with her needs and I wouldn’t be able to give Charlie enough time and she might feel left out. It’s been a few months and I feel like I have a good handle on it. I don’t feel like Charlie is jipped in the mom department. But then people start talking about how everything is all about Laura and when does Charlie get any action?


Charlie, my first born, learned to crawl at 5 months and I was  filled with so much pride and joy that she was mobile. I videotaped it because it was amazing and I cherish those videos of her. Laura learning to crawl on her hands and knees will be a huge deal. She has a hard time controlling those movements. When Laura starts crawling it’s going to be a feeling of pride and joy also and I will video tape it then too. But I may have to keep Charlie out of the shot. You may ask why? Well that’s a two part answer:  1. Charlie is crazy and awesome and she often distracts Laura from doing what we want her to do. 2. because she already learned how to crawl and this video is Laura’s. She will have worked over a year to get there. I will feel the same pride the same joy I felt when Charlie had her own moment years ago. It doesn’t mean I don’t care for Charlie. I’m teaching her something in that moment to be proud of her sister and let her have that accomplishment.


It’s frustrating to me when people assume that Charlie isn’t getting enough from me because of Laura. Because if you were in my home you’d notice Charlie get’s more from me because of Laura. She get’s more life lessons on grace, humility, patience and acceptance. She get’s the unconditional love of a little sister who thinks the world of her. The little sister who for a long time would only calm down when Charlie talked sweetly to her. Yes transitions haven’t been easy on Charlie (or any of us really) but she will be more resilient. So please keep those comments to yourselves. We are fine and Charlie is doing great even if a lot of the videos you see are of Laura’s progress and not Charlie.


2 thoughts on “Shared Time

  1. It’s easy for other to judge because they have no idea what it is like to work and take care of a child with special needs. How you as parents try to balance parenting each child differently according to they own personally and individuality, your work is much more difficult than the average household. I know you must wonder how I would know this since I have no children, well I have a best friend who has a special needs daughter and I have been involved in their life for more than 25 + years I have witnessed their parenting, their struggles and happiness. It’s easier to judge someone when you’re on the outside looking in.
    I know your faith will guide you both in what’s right for your family. Take care and God Bless!


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