What a week! We have had some tests of Laura’s come back inconclusive and have had to redo them several times. And I’ll be honest I was getting mad. I felt like a soda bottle that someone added mentos into. I was about to bust open and lose it. I kept praying and asked my Life Group and Bible Study for prayers as we were dealing with uncertainty again. I kept telling friends “I can’t change it” so I press on. And while yes I can’t change the situation I can change my attitude, thoughts, and reactions. I choose to Praise God in my moments of weakness. I was pitying myself and I do it way too often. Is God any less just because the situation changed? Because the news was nothing even close to what I expected? My attitude was reflecting that I believed my situation was greater. I kept thinking I’m just physically, emotionally and spiritually tired. I can’t keep going on like this. Something with Laura has got to change.
But boy was I wrong!
There was a conference this weekend at our church – If:Gathering. God sure does have a way of putting things in our paths at the exact moment we need them. And I needed this, that weekend. God reminded me that I was never the one holding up Laura. He has been giving me strength. It was NEVER on my OWN that I was strong.
My favorite bible verse is 2 Corinthians 12:8-10 :
Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
I need to boast in these weaknesses. Somewhere along the way I’d forgotten this verse. I allowed worry and fear back in. I became weak because I distanced myself from the only person who can make me strong. Praise God for the women that followed God’s instruction and spoke to my heart this weekend.
One of the women (I wish I could remember her name!) reminded me also that the quote: “God never gives you more than you can handle” is NOT TRUE. We get more than we can handle all the time and it is only through Him, His strength that we can even begin to handle things. Philippians 4:13 – I can do all things through Him who gives me strength. Through prayer and His strength my joy is back. My heart feels lighter once again and I no longer feel like I’m going to blow up like a soda bottle with mentos.
We would love continued prayers for Laura we figure out what’s going on with these tests and that we DON’T have to redo them for a fourth time! I’m so glad she won’t remember all these blood draws but unfortunately they are forever seared into my mind.