We have had many people pray for Laura. From thinking she had thyroid issues to being Failure to Thrive. From trying to rid my diet of all of her allergies and finding the right medication to help my sweet baby with her reflux. Laura’s development has been behind. From all of the mentioned issues this kid was in a TON of pain. Her stomach hurt so bad she screamed when placed on her stomach. So she never was able to work those muscles. We recently had her developmental appointment done and my 11 month old developmentally is the age of a 5-7 month old. That’s hard to hear (even though I knew it going into the appointment). On top of that they labeled her as possibly having Ataxia. And to be super clear, because let’s be honest I can be a drama queen, the Dr. said “possibly Ataxia but unlikely” (whatever that means, come on Dr.s don’t be so confusing!).
Not sure if you are reading this and have zero idea what Ataxia is but I’ll clue you in. It’s a central nervous disease. Basically your cerebellum is damaged or not developed. It causes you to have issues with your gait and you can have a range of issues from having a hard time grasping things to not being able to look where you want to or having difficulty swallowing. And I’m sure there is more to it but I had to stop googling and watching videos.
Laura does not have this right now. It’s a possibility. We however are praying so selfishly and without ceasing that my sweet angelic faced baby DOES NOT have this awful disease that has ripped babies out of their mother’s arms. I’m honestly in tears any time I think of this as being a possibility for my kid. They may do an MRI if they still see concerning movements in April as it is far to risky to do an MRI now. We truly believe as a family that Laura is still developing these key muscles and that is why she is so shaky. We WILL see improvements, and we have already seen a lot of improvements.
BUT the great news?! Even though we have to wait a few months to know more what I know and hold fast to right now is that no matter what the outcome for my family I have hope and trust in GOD. Isaiah 43:16-21 (the Message):
This is what God says, the God who builds a road right through the ocean, who carves a path through pounding waves, The God who summons horses and chariots and armies- they lie down and then can’t get up; they’re snuffed out like so many candles: “Forget about what’s happened; don’t keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it? There it is! I’m making a road through the desert, river in the badlands. Wild animals will say “thank you!” -the coyotes and the buzzards- because I provided water in the desert, rivers through the sun-baked earth, drinking water for the people I chose, the people I made especially for myself, a people custom-made to praise me.
God is doing something new in us and no matter what the outcome we know we can draw strength from Him and He will provide us water when we need it. God provided us things we needed for this journey well in advance, a neighbor who watches our other daughter so we can take Laura to her therapies who has quickly become an amazing friend, a church that prays for us and loves us. A Life Group that reaches out even though they may not be close in distance and my Bible Study group that I have no doubt feels my pain and praises as much as I feel theirs. He has paved us a road in the desert far before we knew we needed it and I’m grateful to Him for it all. I’m grateful to Him for the struggles and uncertainty we have in front of us because I know that whatever comes out of it He will strengthen us and we will glorify him in the process.
Our prayer request is that Laura continues to improve and proves the doctors wrong once again in a disease she doesn’t have. That Allen and I continue to draw strength from Christ and that we can become closer through this.